Cheneyology, a.k.a. You don't know Dick!

The psychology of Dick Cheney as viewed through his high school years, the wooing and winning of his wife, and his passive hovering on the sidelines (or off the radar) of history have made Dick a figure to watch, or to be watched by…

Many think Cheney's the devil himself, or one of his servants. But that doesn't take a lot of imagination. Mapping him onto science fiction or mythology, on the other hand, is more entertaining:

• Is Cheney a Sith Lord? this is a popular one, of course. Bush, of course, would be his Darth Vader… but this would actually require that we cast Bill Clinton as Yoda, and one of Cheney's daughters as Luke Skywalker… Ain't gonna happen.
• Better theory: Cheney's a Go'a'uld, from Stargate SG-1. Makes sense to me– possessed by an alien demon snake that keeps him alive and thinks it's a god… Cheney as wihch Go'a'uld, though: Ba'al is too high-profile (and too good looking), Apophis looks too much like Barak Obama… Certainly not Cronos or Zapacna… Ra?
• Cheney as a “haint” – Jeff Mountebank (for those who remember their Twilight Zone) was expected to go into politics after he came back from the dead…
• Cheney as Baltar… not the Metrosexual modern-day Jesus Gaius Baltar Superstar, but the old-fashioned, stinky-cheesy Baltar from the 70s Battlestar Galactica. He does rather enjoy people doing things By His Command…
• Cheney as… oh, hell, there must be some Star Trek villain you could compare him to. The Dark Spock from the Mirror Universe? No desire for command of his own, but wielding power from behind the scenes? with a device that can make political enemies disappear?

I should probably stop– he's probably listening.